Food is a big part of holiday celebrations for families. It’s often the centerpiece of the season because it brings together everything we love about the this special time of year – family, friends, favorite foods, sweet treats, colorful decorations, music, talking, laughing, and remembering.
Children with autism don’t necessarily see it the same way. For many children, holiday mealtime is disruptive to the daily routines they depend on. It can also present them with anxious social moments they can’t predict, and lots of sensory input that can be overwhelming.
The food itself is a sensory experience that can be problematic for children. It’s estimated upwards of 70% of kiddos with autism are picky eaters to varying degrees. Being sensitive to the texture and taste of foods are significant factors that can make mealtime a challenge in the best of circumstances.
How to set the table for success
From the multi-ingredient casseroles and salads to the wide range of tastes and smells, holiday meals can be a minefield for kids with autism who prefer the smooth, the bland, the usual.
While it may feel like an overwhelming challenge, there are tips and strategies parents can use to prepare their child and make holiday mealtime a good experience for everyone. Ok, let’s dig in.
If you’ll be eating at the house of a friend or family member for the holidays:
- Talk with the host beforehand. Ask them what’s on the menu, and let them know about your child’s food sensitivities so they don’t take offense if your child doesn’t eat what’s served. The host may make something your child will eat, or you could bring a dish to share that you know your child likes.
- Also ask if there’s a quiet, out-of-the-way space at their house where your child can go if they become overwhelmed by the holiday gathering. Be sure to place a toy or two in the space that can comfort your child.
- Bring your child’s favorite plate, cup, or utensils to the dinner to help them feel more at ease.
- Use visual schedules and/or social stories to show your child what to expect at dinner and eliminate surprises that can increase their anxiety level. You can even set your table up and practice eating ahead of time to make your child feel more at comfortable when you finally sit down to enjoy the actual holiday meal.
- Bring toys your child can play with at the table that won’t be disruptive to others, but will occupy your child when they’re done eating.
- Make it easy on yourself and your child and just bring a meal to the holiday gathering that you know your child will and can eat. That way they can sit at the table like everyone else and enjoy a meal like everyone else. This can go a long way the next time the holidays roll around, because the experience was a good one for your child.
- Feed your child ahead of time and automatically take the stress off you and your child. During mealtime, your child can do some other activity that they enjoy away from the sensory inputs around the holiday table.
- Praise and reward your child often for any positive interaction with food at the table and throughout the holiday gathering. In ABA therapy, we call it positive reinforcement.
If you’ll be staying home and enjoying a meal that you prepare:
- Include your child in the cooking process or some other aspect of the meal, like setting the table. The positive experience can grow their confidence and translate into trying new foods.
- Try deconstructing holiday meal favorites to encourage your child to try them. The classic green bean casserole is lumpy and covered in a sauce. It’s a mix of textures that can be a problem for some kids with autism. Make plain green beans instead or serve mushroom soup.
- Choose recipes that are straightforward, customizable, and have some ingredients you know your child likes. Here are a few recipe suggestions from Autism Parenting Magazine:
- Cookie Cutter Pizzas: Each child can choose to make his/her own mini pizzas with a holiday spin.
- Tea Sandwiches: A great appetizer for adults and children alike. Plus, everything is way more fun when it’s bite-sized and on a cocktail stick.
- Mashtinis: Forgo the casserole and make customizable mashed potato cups. These are great with either white or sweet potatoes.
- Turkey Quesadillas: Sometimes linking new foods to familiar concepts (the quesadilla) is helpful in learning to try them
- Christmas Tree Fruit Pizza: With sugar cookie as the base, this combines a familiar sweet with some new fruits to explore.
There’s one more thing a parent can do, and it’s arguably the most important strategy for holiday mealtime if you have a child with autism. That thing is to stay calm and never force your child to eat something new.
Holiday dinner is just one meal. We focus all of our attention on food during the holiday season, but it’s not really what matters. Set aside your expectations and focus on whatever it is that will create a joyful holiday experience your child.
Leave expanding your child’s food choices to another day. Our team of autism and ABA therapy experts can help you with that. All you have to do is ask. You’ll find our fun, colorful hives in North Texas and Boulder, Colorado. We’ve earned the highest accreditation possible and helped hundreds of families since we started 20 years ago. We can help yours, too.
To learn more, email or call 972.312.8733 to talk with us. Or, click here to search for an accredited provider near you. Happy Holidays from our family to yours!
