How to talk to children in times of tragedy

The old saying,” Bad news travels fast,” has never been more true than it is today. Thanks to smartphones, social media, and nonstop TV coverage, news of tragic events close to home as well as far away is broadcast to the world almost immediately after the events occur and sometimes as they’re occurring.

Unfortunately, bad news in our always-connected world can even reach toddlers and preschoolers no matter how hard we try to keep it from them – whether they see something about it or overhear adults talking about it. The challenge parents now face is finding the best way to talk to their kiddo about what they’ve seen or heard, so they can provide answers to their questions and support their child’s emotional well-being.

While there are some differences between talking with children who are on the autism spectrum and their neurotypical counterparts, experts agree on the general approach parents should take when talking with their children about traumatic events in the news.

Let’s explore the best way to talk with children about tragic events and helpful tips to keep in mind.

Before talking to your kiddo

Get your thoughts together about the event that’s in the news. The goal is to filter the information in a way that your child can understand and handle. Avoiding talking with your child can expose them to false narratives that can make them anxious. Stay in front of the situation by talking with them.

TIP: Keep the information you share with your child accurate and brief, just enough for your them to know what’s going on. Consider using images or social stories that help explain the information, but nothing graphic or scary.

How to start the conversation

Ask them what they’ve seen and heard about the tragic event. Then ask them if they have any questions and how they feel about it.

TIP: Bring up the topic gently, and let your child lead the conversation. The goal is for them to reveal what might be upsetting them about the situation – not what you think would upset them. Don’t force the conversation, but also don’t assume your child’s silence means they’re not bothered by what they’ve heard or seen.

During the conversation

Listen more than you talk. When you do talk, be straightforward and direct, but reassuring. Relate the information to your child like you planned and provide more details only if necessary for your child’s understanding.

TIPS:

  • Validate your child’s feelings by let them know they’re normal and okay.
  • Use visuals like emojis that your child can point to express how they’re feeling or have your them draw a picture that shows what they’re feeling or thinking.
  • Allow them to express their feelings in anyway they see fit. Social stories can come in handy here, letting your child know how to express their feelings in different situations.
  • If you want to share your own feelings, do it calmly so not to upset your child further.
  • Tell your child what you’re doing to keep them safe or why they are safe.
  • Calm them in ways they will respond to best, keeping in mind they may regress and act younger than they are and seek comfort even as an infant would.
  • Let them know about the good people who help during a tragic event to reassure them, like firemen, medics, and police.
  • Help your child express empathy and caring for victims and their families. This works to counteract any helplessness they may be feeling.

After the conversation

Watch for signs your child may not be coping well after learning about a tragic event. Signs include sleep issues, feeling unwell, and emotional problems that are out of the ordinary.

TIPS:

  • If you see signs something is wrong, seek advice from medical professionals to determine if your child needs expert support.
  • Play together as a family to relieve stress and provide comfort that comes from being together in tough times.
  • Disconnect from the media to limit your child’s exposure to graphic images and non-stop discussion of the tragic event.

Communication is key!

With ABA therapy, your child can learn how to communicate, express emotions, and socialize with others in their own way, helping them live life to their fullest.

If your toddler has been diagnosed with autism, seek early intervention ABA therapy, the gold standard in autism care. Research over several decades has shown that early intervention ABA therapy improves outcomes for children with autism and for their families.

Don’t wait and see. Instead, tell your pediatrician about any concerns you have about your child’s development. Children as young as two can benefit from ABA therapy.

Here at The Behavior Exchange, we’ve been helping young children with autism and their families throughout North Texas for more than two decades, using ABA therapy services that have earned the highest accreditation possible. Twice!

Contact our experts today, so we can talk about a brighter future for your child and family!

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Ashvina attended University of Bombay and graduated with a Bachelors of Commerce. She got her Montessori Diploma in 1985 and taught ever since. Ashvina came to TBE in January of 2016 as Admin Assistant. During the years she got the opportunity to learn and work in different departments such as HR, Finance, Office Manager and Executive Assistant. Last summer TBE bought billing in house and her current focus area is Revenue Cycle Management. She is detail oriented and enjoys working with people. Ashvina volunteers to deliver meals to seniors and local shelters on the weekend. She loves to spend time with her family and grandkids. Ashvina loves her job because she enjoys hearing different points of view, and she feels her contributions help fuel the direction of our company.

Working with children comes naturally to Angela. Her mom was a special education teacher for 30 years and often had Angela join her for Take Your Child to Work Day. And in high school, Angela spent every summer as the nanny for a little boy with an autism spectrum disorder. It was this experience where her passion for working with children with autism started to blossom.

From there, she went on to graduate from Oklahoma State University with a Bachelor of Science in Human Development and Family Sciences. She learned about Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) in a non-normative development class and from that moment knew that ABA would be her life’s work.

Angela moved to the DFW area shortly after and began working at The Behavior Exchange as a therapist. She worked on her Master’s in Behavior Analysis at the same time. A year after graduating, she earned certification as a Board Certified Behavior Analyst.

Now, as a Clinical Director at The Behavior Exchange, she brings a life-long passion to her work, holding a special place in her heart for children with limited language skills and working closely with families to develop healthy sleep habits.

Danielle’s passion for working with families is deeply personal and from the heart. Her younger brother has an autism spectrum disorder, and through their journey as a family, she found her purpose in life as an advocate for individuals with special needs.

After graduating from the University of North Texas with a degree in Human Development and Family Studies, Danielle began volunteering at The Behavior Exchange. She saw passionate therapists, meaningful change for clients, and families with hope for the future. After a summer of volunteering, she officially joined the team as Director of Admissions and found her home with The Behavior Exchange family.

With her extensive experience working as a client advocate with insurance providers, Danielle perseveres to help individuals of all ages and abilities receive the services they need to reach their full potential. She feels truly honored by each and every family who entrusts The Behavior Exchange to be part of their journey and is committed to the organization’s core values, mission, and goal of being a beacon of hope for the community.

Adam has always had a passion for helping individuals of all ages thrive and reach their full potential. He’s also an enthusiastic musician, songwriter, leader, and devoted family man, who has been helping children and team members grow with The Behavior Exchange since 2010.

Prior to joining the team at The Behavior Exchange, Adam was a mortgage loan consultant and grad student, pursuing his master’s degree in Education at the University of North Texas. He graduated in 2013 and also earned a graduate academic certificate in Autism Intervention. The following year, after years as a Behavior Therapist and seeing first-hand the power of ABA and the meaningful impact it can have on children and their families, Adam became a Board Certified Behavior Analyst. He then commenced from the Stagen Leadership Academy after completing the Integral Leadership Program (ILP), a 52-week practice-based program designed to develop executives serious about transforming themselves, their teams, and their organizations.

Adam is truly grateful to be a part of a dynamic, inspiring and compassionate team, and he’s dedicated to bettering the lives of all children and their families through the delivery of the highest quality of ABA services, while supporting the amazing team at The Behavior Exchange.

Soraya is from South Africa and moved to Texas in 1996. She graduated from The University of Texas and pursued a career, at that time, in Education. Soraya taught at a Montessori school for a few years and then took on a leadership role.

During her time in the education system, Soraya realized her passion was to assist children with special needs. So she joined The Behavior Exchange as a therapist, transitioned into a supervisory role in 2017, and a year and a half later, was promoted to Clinical Operations Manager.

She quickly learned the ins and outs of ABA operations and scheduling and successfully collaborates across departments to ensure The Behavior Exchange continues to provide quality services to clients and their families. She’s thankful to be part of such an amazing organization and excited to see what the future holds.

You could say Walter’s career started when he spent hours as a young child drawing superheroes and coloring maps. This passion, along with extraordinary swimming skills, landed him a full swimming scholarship at Texas Christian University, where he graduated in 1997 with a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Communication Graphics.

During the next 13 years, his design and art direction skills, conceptual-thinking abilities, and marketing-savvy know-how were honed at a few prestigious advertising and marketing agencies around the Dallas area. In the mid 2000s, he helped his wife Tammy Cline-Soza (founder and CEO of The Behavior Exchange) create a unique and concise brand for her new business. From logos and websites to uniforms, brand voice and visuals, Walter has been the main creative force for all things The Behavior Exchange.

Aside from giving birth to The Behavior Exchange brand, Walter is helping Tammy raise two amazing, beautiful children, River and Sierra. In his spare time (the two minutes he’s got per week), you can find Walter illustrating iconic landmarks of Dallas and Texas or looking around for this next open-water swim. Once he gets back in shape.

After 20 years of building The Behavior Exchange, literally from the ground up,
Tammy couldn’t be more proud of the team, culture, and organization that it has become.

As a family helping families, The Behavior Exchanges looks for opportunities that will make the biggest impact and produce life-changing outcomes – for clients, families, and even for team members. Tammy believes that if a team, a family, a community takes care of each other, the possibilities are endless and the relationships built along the way can make life more enriching and challenges easier to navigate. You could say her goal has been to build a kind of utopia full of support, love, and expertise that brings the best services possible to the community and ensures more families have access to those services.

Tammy and her family have dedicated their lives to the mission of The Behavior Exchange and continue to grow, learn, cultivate, challenge, support, and create better models for success. To that end, she is committed to her own leadership development and actively participates in advanced training, mentoring, and deep self-exploration on how to live out her purpose to love and support her family and help others reach their full potential. She takes her position very seriously and tries to serve as a channel for what the universe wants to come to fruition.

She also loves travel, gardening, being creative, MUSIC!, tennis, yoga, meditation, journaling, reading, being in nature, adventures, and more than anything, spending time with her husband Walter and their two beautiful children, River and Sierra.