A common symptom of autism in children is the absence of social skills that most of us take for granted.
Children with autism and other developmental delays can appear anti-social and even shy, but that doesn’t mean they actually are. It’s more likely they don’t know how to interact with others. They don’t understand the nuances of emotions, empathizing with others, self-control, social cues, holding a conversation, making eye contact, sharing, and all the other skills we use in social interactions on a daily basis.
Social skills are involved in so many areas of our lives, it’s critical that children with autism have the opportunity to learn and practice social skills, so they can reach their full potential not only in school, but in whatever they strive to do.
ABA therapy focuses on social skills
As the gold standard early intervention for autism, ABA therapy helps children as young as two years old begin to learn and build on social skills appropriate to their age.
Most children start in One-on-One Therapy to establish a foundation of basic social skills, then progress to group therapy, like the Behavior Exchange Early Start program (B.E.E.S.) and Social Skills Groups, where they can learn more complex skills in a low pressure, safe environment with other children who are learning social skills, too.
With social skills, your child can make friends at school, join in group activities and sports, gain self-confidence, participate in a classroom, and improve academically. The benefits can be life-changing for kids as well as their families!
Practice, Practice, Practice
The key to learning any new skill is to practice it until it becomes second nature and can be used in a variety of situations. In the world of ABA therapy, we call that generalization and it’s an important goal for all children.
Parents can play an active role in helping their child’s development when it comes to social skills. Home life offers many learning moments for children that complement and reinforce the social skills they’re learning in ABA therapy.
To help get you started, here are a few tips to keep in mind when helping your child practice social skills at home, including ways to make it fun. Be sure to partner with child’s ABA therapist for specific advice on areas to focus on that are unique to your child’s needs and goals. Your child’s ABA therapist is a fount of information for you, so lean on them for help.
Now let’s talk tips! Here are five to get you headed in the right direction:
- Model appropriate social behavior for your child.
Children learn by watching and imitating what others do. Children with autism may not understand what they’re watching and require an explanation. Realistically, you won’t be able to do this all the time. But when you’re able, take a moment to discuss it with your child. Describe what you did and highlight social behaviors your child is learning in ABA therapy, such as facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language. Also encourage your child to ask you questions about why you reacted in a certain way. Helping them understand social behaviors and what is expected in different social situations is the goal.
- Reinforce positive behaviors in social situations.
Positive reinforcement is an important element of ABA therapy. Think of it as rewarding positive behavior so that the behavior will occur over and over again and diminish unwanted behaviors. Positive reinforcement works because children with autism often don’t understand what’s expected of them. When you reward a particular behavior, like a social skill, it tells your child that you expect that behavior from them, so they’re more likely to continue that behavior. Positive reinforcement can take many forms, such as a tasty treat, a favorite toy, an activity they like, or verbal praise and encouragement.
- For preschoolers and school-aged kids, try role-playing.
Role-playing is a great way to learn by doing. It helps kids with autism familiarize themselves with common social interactions and gives them the language and actions needed to engage in with others in different situations. It’s going one step further than just talking about what is expected of them. Role-playing helps them internalize the social behaviors that are expected and practice them in a safe environment free of criticism and embarrassment. As you’re role-playing, be sure to include different types of reactions to help your child stay flexible if a reaction is not exactly as practiced.
- Write social stories to increase your child’s understanding.
Visual aids are commonly used in ABA therapy to help children with autism understand specific situations in life and how people react to them. Social stories are a type of visual aid that they help children with autism understand social norms and learn how to communicate with others appropriately. You can create social stories yourself or search online for ones that have already been developed. This helpful site has curated social stories from several sources for parents to use with their children.
- Play games!
There’s lots to be learned from the social interactions involved in playing games with other people. Children get to learn the importance of rules, taking turns, and how to behave when they’re a winner and when they’re not. In other words, they learn about being a good sport. As you play with your kiddo, you can observe their behavior and explain the behavior that is expected at different points during the game. Here are a few ideas for playing games that will help your child practice important social skills in a fun way:
- Play a simple board game you already have.
- Make a game out of emotion cards, having your child pick a card and ask them to mimic the emotion. The game encourages face-to-face interaction and helps your child learn empathy and express their feelings.
- Incorporate emotions and social situations into a game of Simon Says.
- Turn on some music and play the freeze game to help your child practice self-control at a moment’s notice when the music is turned off.
- Make a game of missing objects, where several items are placed on a table and one is taken away out of view of your child. Then ask them is identify which object is missing. The game encourages observation and memory skills.
- Take turns rolling a ball back and forth to help your child learn self-control in aiming and returning the ball with the appropriate force. The interaction provides kids with a natural conversation starter.
Social skills start to develop in the formative years of a child’s life from birth to 5 years of age. Don’t wait to get your child with autism the help they need to let their social side shine. Get started today!
